I had a thought the other day about what makes people beloved, successful or popular on any scale. I think the answer is positive stimulation. Think about it; our lives would be dull as heck if we didn’t engage in activities that make us feel they are worth living. That’s why we enjoy entertainment in all forms, and love those that entertain us. Of course, stimulation can be negative also, but even experiencing the bad times can help us appreciate the good. I think it is possible to become very popular over time if you become a supplier of positive stimulation.
Nurses are loved by the public because they bring light to a dark situation. Entertainers and sportspeople trigger feelings of excitement and release. A good friend or partner is regarded as someone that uplifts you and/or makes you laugh. Another interesting group is models. Fundamentally, they provide positive stimulation by allowing us to derive pleasure from their beauty. It’s like they’re walking works of art. But because they are also human, many of us seem incapable of mentally separating ourselves from them. We are sold the idea that we too can become similar works of art if we buy certain products. And that is simply not true. Human-driven art can be dangerous for this reason. Additionally, in this age of breaking down role definitions and stereotypes, we will ourselves to believe that we can be anyone and do anything. But I think we need to apply some limits here, or at least wait until the concept of art is redefined with general consensus before diving head first into a career that will belly flop because you simply don’t look the part, and won’t for some time. Of course, there are pioneers that clear the way – ethnically diverse lead actors and larger models – but I think what they are doing is providing a new kind of positive stimulation to growing audiences with increasing market power. At the end of the day, what we see in pop culture at this moment in time is what makes good business. So these pioneers have tapped in to a growing market. They are not social activists in my opinion (as much as they may purport to be) – they are actually shrewd businesspeople seizing opportunities. They offer a new brand of positive stimulation that connects more readily with certain groups of people. For example, when it comes to ethnic diversity on television, people of colour such as myself were deriving plenty of positive stimulation from ethnically homogeneous shows like Seinfeld. It’s just that with ‘ground breaking’ shows like Master of None, we are experiencing a new and exhilarating variety of positive stimulation. It resonates particularly with the ethnically diverse, but it is also refreshing for those who are not. And that is why traditionally unpopular faces have suddenly become so bankable. It’s not about social change and representation – all you have to do is follow the money.
On a related note, when you think about positive stimulation as a resource, social media activity can be appraised in a new light. Take the attention-seeking people that post mundane things or show themselves off. It’s about attracting attention for the purposes of validation, approval, and an appeal to the most basic of human needs – to feel wanted and loved. It is essentially a request for the ultimate form of positive stimulation. It’s emotional fuel; it’s what keeps us going. And these kinds of posts signify a deep hunger that calls for refuelling through donations of positive stimulation. Unfortunately, many of these ‘emotionally needy’ aren’t in the business of giving back, and if they do, it is not a fair trade. Thankfully, there are others that don’t publicly solicit positive stimulation, but by providing it to others, they receive it in turn. This creates a wonderful cycle of giving and receiving. And it’s what we should all aim for. After all, you wouldn’t accept presents without giving some too! The same attitude applies for emotional gifts.
Anyway, that’s my theory: people in the business of giving positive stimulation do well, because let’s face it, that’s what we’re all ultimately looking for. It makes us feel like life has some meaning and that it’s worth living. It can be in the form of good food, fun exercise, an emotive movie, shopping, socialising, or watching entertainers and sports. And some lucky people can actually derive positive stimulation from work, which may explain ‘workaholicism’ in some. It’s basically the old cliché about loving what you do expressed in a different way. I don’t think this cliché is the best way to state life’s aim, because it places a burden on individuals to 1) have the capacity and/or will to love something so fiercely and 2) dedicate their lives to it with abandon. I am one of those individuals that have felt the pressure and even a degree of guilt when I haven’t loved my work most of the time. It’s as if I’m incapable of love; lost and unhappy. But I don’t think that’s true. There are many things I enjoy, but I don’t think I could make a career out of any of them without becoming skilled in the craft first, potentially losing my identity and financial security in the process. This path is possible in the aspirational sense, but unlikely in the practical. As Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book Big Magic, it is foolish to give up your day job in pursuit of a distant creative dream, but at the same time it is important to remain in tune with what stimulates you, and cultivate your craft passionately and naturally without the burden of financial expectation.